Monday, June 29, 2015

The day before therapy post. What is left to say?

Ugh.  I've sat around all weekend, alternately freaked out that Luther was sick and pouting because we didn't get to go to the Twins game OR to Chicago to see U2.

Here it is Monday.  I had a lazy lazy day.  Luther tried morphine again today - we weren't sure if that's what made him sick.  Plus:  it didn't make him sick.  Minus:  it made him woozy and really out of it.

I don't know what this is.  This malaise.  Isn't that a great word?

malaise: a general feeling of discomfort or unease whose exact cause is difficult to                   identify.   unhappiness, unease, discomfort, melancholy, depression, despondent

Hmmm.  Maybe malaise is too strong.  I just don't wanna do anything.  I'm trying to grab the bull by the horns and all that good stuff.  My arms feel too weak to grab much.  Ok - that's dramatic.  I guess I'm just adjusting to accepting this new phase.  This new phase of not being able to leave.  To plan. Or if we do plan, it has to be planned to the letter.

Part of it is that we're not going up to the family cabin for the fourth of July.  Here I am, finally not working - which is the thing that's kept me from going for so many years.  And now, we can't go because it's not accessible.  We went up Memorial weekend and it was really uncomfortable for Luther.

No baseball game, no road trip, no 4th of July with family.  It's a lot to realize in the course of a week.

I'm sure we'll settle in -- I'm sure I'll figure out this is just fine.  We plan smaller things, closer to home.

Last week at therapy, the therapist was somewhat amazed my thoughts seemed organized.  I guess that was a nice week.  I just don't feel so put together this week.  Things fell apart and I just wasn't quite ready to rebound.

Cliche to end the blog with?   Hmmm.

Tomorrow's a new day.
Always look on the bright side
Happiness is a choice
Lemons... lemonade??  with a little vodka!

Tomorrow's a new day.

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