Saturday, February 6, 2016

All is well

A few months ago, I was going to do a 30 days of gratitude thing.  List what I was thankful for each day.  I did it for about 3 days and quit.

The exercise is valuable, for sure. I tend to be a a glass half empty kind of a gal.  I look at the what-if's, the should haves.  I worry about things I can't control.

I wondered why this exercise only last 3 days?? Lazy?  Busy? Ungrateful?

Maybe.  I don't always think about this blog every day.  I tend to come here when I'm frustrated, sad... when I need to sort out the negative emotional stuff.  It helps to get it out of my head.

I realize this leads to a blog full 'o whining.  A blog chock full of negativity.  I want people to know life is a-ok!!  Our life is quiet, slow, we're together all the time.  We're with family, we have a good support system.  But yeah -- it's hard to wrap my head around the idea my husband is sick.  It's hard to be grateful and cheerful sometimes.

I thought the act of writing down each day would hold me accountable for feeling more thankful. Instead, it felt a little manufactured.

Not that I couldn't find a reason to be grateful. Instead,  the motive felt like I needed let the world know (or the world who stops by this blog) I have a happy bone in my body.

Being grateful can't be forced.  I can turn my frown upside down all day long but if I can't find a reason to really truly smile, I better go back under the covers and start over.

Luther's my hero.  He's my happy place.  He's why I really truly smile.  It sucks he has ALS but I am lucky he's in my life.  I'm a better person for it.  All will be well.  All is well.

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