What the heck?
Can't sleep. Can't rally. Withdrawing. Feeling scared. Afraid of the future, of wheelchairs, of decisions: do I stop working? Power of attorney. Remembering to make a dinner that he can actually eat. Will we have to move? Do we get that damned Life Alert (help! I've fallen and I can't get up!) or a baby monitor or walkie talkies so if he chokes or falls or gets hurt when I'm in another room, I will know.
I know I know I know I should focus on positive, on what we have, what I can do. And I will. I'm just having a moment.
One of many, I'm sure.