Thursday, December 26, 2013

Momentary Lapse of Reason (Suddenly, I'm Afraid of Everything)

What the heck?

Can't sleep.  Can't rally.  Withdrawing.  Feeling scared.  Afraid of the future, of wheelchairs, of decisions: do I stop working?  Power of attorney.  Remembering to make a dinner that he can actually eat.  Will we have to move?  Do we get that damned Life Alert (help!  I've fallen and I can't get up!) or a baby monitor or walkie talkies so if he chokes or falls or gets hurt when I'm in another room, I will know.

I know I know I know I should focus on positive, on what we have, what I can do.  And I will.  I'm just having a moment.

One of many, I'm sure.

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