Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Frustrated in flip flops

We have been in Florida for 8 days.  We drove for 10 days to get here.

So how's it going?  Lets just say that no matter how frustrated I've been, I have to think, " but I'm in flip flops!"  and all is pretty much A·OK.

I think the hardest part was realizing how far away I was from friends and family and it was just me and Luther.  

At home, we are pretty much just us.  We are home bodies.  But I always knew my friends and family were close.  Luther likes hanging out with my dad, his friends.  I know my sister, mom, my friends were a phone call away.

We don't have WiFi and we didn't have tv. Olden days!!  As I type this, I know I am eating up our minutes or data plan or whatever, much to Luther's unhappiness.  Or our budgets unhappiness!!

The first few days were oddly quiet.  I finally found a radio.  The day time was fine, we explored, drove around, got to know the neighborhood.  

After dinner though, we would be staring at each other... should we make out!?  We played 20 questions.  We didnt have any books (he cant read, no hands to turn pages), I had already read my Oprah mag...

It took a few days to settle in, find a place for Luther to sit comfotably, find Target, find a tv antenna.  

Luther has fallen down twice.  The first was pretty scary.  Standing up, he tripped and fell straight to the ground.

It took a while to get him up off the ground. Once we did, he didnt remember falling. Off to the emergency room we went.  Now I knew where that was too.  He's fine.  Possible concussion. 

He fell at 11 pm, we left at 4 am and I told Luther it was ok because he was ok and I was in my flip.flops.

He fell again the next day.  That was mostly because he didnt want to ask for help.  It takes a while to get him up but we have a system. 

It seems on the trip, Luther lost the mobility in his right hand.  Although limited before this, he could fling his arms around to get his glasses or phone.  He had a system.  He could eat some things without help.  

Now, his right hand is swollen and actually cold to the touch.  I read it's because the nerve endings are dead, the blood pools in his hands. It doesn't flow back up his arms.  Dependent edema. 

So more things change.  He told me a few days ago he feels like he only has a year left.  

At first, I wanted to tell him NO!  You cant think like that.  But I get frustrated when people don't listen to my fears, let me get things out.  

So I listened.  We cried.  I told him I didnt want to live without him.  A year, five years.  It doesnt matter.  We cant control it.

We are in the sunshine.  We have a cruise planned.  I rub his cold swollen hand in the sunshine.  We arent in below zero weather.

Flip flops, sunshine make everything better.

NOTE:  Many thanks to my brother and his wife for letting us stay at their place.

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