Luther and I were downstairs tonight, planning out our day tomorrow. I have a dentist appointment at 10:40 then off to work at 2.
It will be good to get up early, have breakfast together. I said we'd wash his face, brush teeth, change shirt. Yes, he agreed. Armpits, too, I said. We have to wash your pits.
Luther just gave me a mournful look and said, no. No armpits. That's just too much.
I started laughing. The pits will send you over the edge? Yes, he said. I just don't want to be a burden.
Yep, That's right. It's the pits that burden me. Not the zillion other things - talking about his end of life care, seeing him in pain all the time, the constant coughing/choking, the fact he's unable to reach out and hold my hand. It's your dang armpits that weigh me down.
Note to Luther:
I love you! Sometimes I'm running late or running around like a crazy chicken and I put your brushing hair or your teeth last. I'm sorry for that.
Every day I want you to feel good! Washed up, squeaky clean, ready to rock! I know there are some days you aren't rockin' out much and you don't feel like making the effort.
But I want to make the effort for you because I love you and you deserve to feel great.
Plus, you know. Snuggling. I want you to smell good for that.