Monday, January 13, 2014

Random thoughts...

Last week I felt scared.  Uncertain.  I worried about everything.

This week, warmer weather.  Warmer thoughts.

We had a good weekend.  Out with friends, family on Friday and Saturday night.  Luther actually had a "guy" date on Sunday - met a friend for lunch.  I worry about the energy management.  Is doing so much going to wipe him out??  Or is it good to be up, meet friends, feel back to normal?  

I like to keep friends close.  That sounds weird because I like being with friends.  What I mean is it's a good thing to let them in, let them get used to Luther and how it looks to live with ALS. See the stages, in a way??

He looks fine, he's walking, talking.   He's lost 100% use of his shoulders and upper arms.  90% loss of his hands.

At times, I want to keep him sheltered away from the world, keep him safe, keep him relaxed.  Other times, I know it's important to feel as normal as possible.  Especially while he's still walking.  We're going to Vegas this weekend!   We're both looking forward to time away, time together.

Tomorrow, we go to our first ALS support group at the U of M.  I'm a little nervous about it but mostly excited to find new connections.  Get more information.

I was thinking about going out of town for a weekend this spring.  A girls weekend away.  That "me" time people keep telling me I need to be sure to take.

What I realized, though, is I can't leave Luther alone.  Right now, we have a routine.  Things have fallen neatly in to place most days.  Who fills that place if I'm not here?  It feels weird to ask someone to come over to check on him like he's my cat.  

We'll see.  I'll worry about it when the time comes.  That's sort of my mantra these days... enjoy today, focus on today.  Although we can plan for some things, I'll worry about most things when they actually happen.

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